Day Forty-One

I only got to do eighteen minutes on the elliptical this morning, and no abs nor weight-lifting.  And I felt mad all day.  I did make the best use of the time I could, and burned 150 calories in that time, and traveled 1.4 miles.

 The main reason I was so short on time is that I had to get to work early to attend a full-day training.  I also needed to have one of my vehicles inspected, so I grabbed the card and took that vehicle to work.  I ate during my break--leftover meatloaf, baked potato, and broccoli, then ran the errand on my lunch.  All went well, and I was feeling pretty virtuous and smart.

 And then I saw it--someone had brought out those big lacey cookies and a whole bag of little chocolate-covered cookies.  Because I had eaten early, I was really hungry.  I don't know that I have ever been so tempted.  All the excuses flooded my mind--that it is pointless to be doing this, that it isn't doing any good, anyway.  I went into the training room and wrote out an essay to myself on why I should not eat the cookies.

 "So, if I did have some cookies, I would be happy for a minute, but then I would be upset.  It took a lot of effort to get to 41 days, and I'm not anywhere close to where I want to be in my weight loss.  If I had some cookies, how many would I have?  Wouldn't I want more?  Where would I stop?  Too late, no doubt.  What is the right amount for me to have?  Zero, right?

 "It would make skipping the Memorial Day shake, the birthday cakes, the desserts, meaningless.  It would open the floodgates to eating even more--my Easter candy, for one thing.  So, if I had one big cookie and a few small cookies, and then maybe seconds of the sme proportion, and then I went home and had some Easter candy, how much sugar would I end up eating today?  I didn't like my weight today--how much would I like it tomorrow?"

 That helped.  Also, knowing I would have to admit to all three of my blog readers that I had eaten sugar would be devastating.

 Also, if I started eating sugar, my youngest child, who tracks everything and is very literal, would know, because he has already figured out that 100 days will take me to the end of July.  He would know that I had not kept my word to myself.  How would that impact his view of me, or, even, his life?  We teach our children how to live their lives by how we live ours.

 One thing I was proud of today--we were talking about helping our customers set goals, and it was mentioned that we should teach them to anticipate potholes up ahead and how to effectively detour to recover from them.  I realized that, with planning how to avoid my Easter candy by immediately putting it in a bag, and how to avoid birthday cakes at work by having a plan to say, "No, thank you," and retreat to my cubicle, I had, this time, effectively anticipated potholes and avoided them.

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