Day Three
Again, I woke up too late to go to the gym. By the time I drove there, I would only have a few minutes in which to do anything before it was time to drive home and get my children to school. So, I attached my iPod to my nightgown and danced. I alternated abs with dances until I ran out of time. It got me a little bit sweaty. It at least got me moving. I told myself it was not for nothing, and that some exercise is better than none.
I had dropped another two pounds.
I know that I cannot drop two pounds every day, but this was a great start. I felt much better going to work at the --6 weight than I would have heavier than ever. And, if I had ignored my increased weight and indulged in my Easter basket, I would have weighed even more today than I did on Saturday.
I have my fattest clothes lined up first in my closet, and I put on one of those outfits and told myself that, soon, in ninety-eight days, I will be able to wear much more of my wardrobe.
I don't know that I will lose all of the forty pounds remaining in the hundred days, but I know that if I keep this up, I will be well on my way. I will reassess what I need to do when I get there. First thing's first, and first thing is making a real impact on my problem.
My youngest children asked if they could have more Easter bunny cake for breakfast, and I quickly agreed. It was almost gone, and gone is good.
I brought two hard-boiled Easter eggs and an orange for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, and a big apple to eat at work. I also have nuts and pumpkin seeds for snacks. I also have a box of fruit teas that have no calories for those moments when I feel I must have something sweet, and stevia to sweeten the tea. I am well-prepared to eat well, I just don't always do it.
I decided not to really say anything to my co-workers about my new plan, but to just work it privately. Sometimes, I think we say too much, and then if we do not do it, we look ridiculous. Or, sometimes, we think having proclaimed our good intentions is enough, and we don't actually follow through with them. Additionally, it is really no one's business but my own. I don't want to draw attention to myself with this. I don't want to concern or bore anybody. Im blogging because I think it might help me and you, behind the scenes.
However, a ways into the morning, a very nice coworker offered me a lemon bar. She had brought a whole box of them. I politely declined, thanking her, and she pressed me. "These have a lot more lemon than sugar in them," she lied.
"Thank you, but I cannot have any sugar," I told her. "I've promised myself." And if I felt smug as I walked away, I think that is okay. It is much better to actually take care of myself than to make excuses to not take care of myself. My having said I'd promised myself felt in the moment like the most important thing I could aver. And there will always be a holiday, a birthday, a staff meeting, or an ordinary Tuesday to present sweets to us. I really am keeping the mindset I need--so far. No sugar. No overeating. I am strong and I intend to remain strong. If I could do it on Easter Day, I can do it today.
I drew a grid on a notebook page of ten squares by ten squares, then filled in two of them for the two days I have successfully passed. I decided to make a picture as I mark these off, so I filled in two squares to look like eyes. A good start.
My daughter in college asked me some time ago to bring my new husband up to see her new apartment and have dinner. We did not realize then that the date we had set was the day after Easter. We joked last night that we will just start eating dinner at each other's place every other night. Before I left work, I ate my big apple, but I was still a little bit hungry, and I didn't want to be overly tempted, whatever she served. I had already shared with her that I was off sugar, so I didn't think she would have made a dessert, but my husband and I had small bowls of leftover carrot soup (yes! this is something I eat! and it's good!) as an appetizer before we made the 40-mile trek to her new apartment.
My daughter served asparagus (again!) and a yummy pasta salad with big chunks of peppers and tomatoes and thin strings of carrots in it. I devoured my plate and did not ask for seconds. (No overeating--I was fine!) We talked a while, and met her cat, and drove back.
I made one of my sugarless hot chocolates and sipped it as I went to bed.
I had dropped another two pounds.
I know that I cannot drop two pounds every day, but this was a great start. I felt much better going to work at the --6 weight than I would have heavier than ever. And, if I had ignored my increased weight and indulged in my Easter basket, I would have weighed even more today than I did on Saturday.
I have my fattest clothes lined up first in my closet, and I put on one of those outfits and told myself that, soon, in ninety-eight days, I will be able to wear much more of my wardrobe.
I don't know that I will lose all of the forty pounds remaining in the hundred days, but I know that if I keep this up, I will be well on my way. I will reassess what I need to do when I get there. First thing's first, and first thing is making a real impact on my problem.
My youngest children asked if they could have more Easter bunny cake for breakfast, and I quickly agreed. It was almost gone, and gone is good.
I brought two hard-boiled Easter eggs and an orange for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, and a big apple to eat at work. I also have nuts and pumpkin seeds for snacks. I also have a box of fruit teas that have no calories for those moments when I feel I must have something sweet, and stevia to sweeten the tea. I am well-prepared to eat well, I just don't always do it.
I decided not to really say anything to my co-workers about my new plan, but to just work it privately. Sometimes, I think we say too much, and then if we do not do it, we look ridiculous. Or, sometimes, we think having proclaimed our good intentions is enough, and we don't actually follow through with them. Additionally, it is really no one's business but my own. I don't want to draw attention to myself with this. I don't want to concern or bore anybody. Im blogging because I think it might help me and you, behind the scenes.
However, a ways into the morning, a very nice coworker offered me a lemon bar. She had brought a whole box of them. I politely declined, thanking her, and she pressed me. "These have a lot more lemon than sugar in them," she lied.
"Thank you, but I cannot have any sugar," I told her. "I've promised myself." And if I felt smug as I walked away, I think that is okay. It is much better to actually take care of myself than to make excuses to not take care of myself. My having said I'd promised myself felt in the moment like the most important thing I could aver. And there will always be a holiday, a birthday, a staff meeting, or an ordinary Tuesday to present sweets to us. I really am keeping the mindset I need--so far. No sugar. No overeating. I am strong and I intend to remain strong. If I could do it on Easter Day, I can do it today.
I drew a grid on a notebook page of ten squares by ten squares, then filled in two of them for the two days I have successfully passed. I decided to make a picture as I mark these off, so I filled in two squares to look like eyes. A good start.
My daughter in college asked me some time ago to bring my new husband up to see her new apartment and have dinner. We did not realize then that the date we had set was the day after Easter. We joked last night that we will just start eating dinner at each other's place every other night. Before I left work, I ate my big apple, but I was still a little bit hungry, and I didn't want to be overly tempted, whatever she served. I had already shared with her that I was off sugar, so I didn't think she would have made a dessert, but my husband and I had small bowls of leftover carrot soup (yes! this is something I eat! and it's good!) as an appetizer before we made the 40-mile trek to her new apartment.
My daughter served asparagus (again!) and a yummy pasta salad with big chunks of peppers and tomatoes and thin strings of carrots in it. I devoured my plate and did not ask for seconds. (No overeating--I was fine!) We talked a while, and met her cat, and drove back.
I made one of my sugarless hot chocolates and sipped it as I went to bed.
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