Day Forty-Seven
I knew I had to get up in front of everyone at work today, and my stomach is still almost as big as ever, so I wanted to do a really good workout before I went in. But, I woke up at three, and, yes, I should have gone then. I really considered it--at least to do weight-lifting, because I wasn't easily going back to sleep, but I turned on a podcast instead. It did help me to go to sleep, but then it would wake me up again, and then I would realize that I had missed some, and then I would try to turn it back to the same spot, but then I would fall asleep again and repeat the cycle.
By the time I really woke up, it was quarter to seven! I never sleep that late, and there was definitely no time for the gym, because I also had to go in to work a half hour early today for a monthly meeting. I thought about dancing for a half hour, but my husband came home from working all night just then, and he worked the night before, too, so we haven't seen each other for half a week, and we ended up talking instead. I'm glad that I am not eating so much that I feel like I HAVE to burn it off, but, still--I shouldn't miss workouts. It's a shame, too, because my weight was low enough that I would have seen some nice numbers on the scale after working out.
I felt like the jacket and skirt I was supposed to wear today, while nice, would not cover my fat stomach well enough, so I substituted the jacket for my favorite black sweater, which sort of covers everything and flatters me at the same time.
Because I didn't cook last night, I didn't have a lunch to bring. I opened a can of beans into a container and cooked half of a green pepper in some water and chopped that into it. If I'd been thinking a little bit smarter, I could have also added some onion, but I didn't think about it until the pepper was cooked, and I certainly wasn't going to put raw onion into my beans.
I had a very emotional morning at work with a lot more happening than I expected. By the time the morning was over, I was exhausted and honestly just wanted to go home. I ate my beans and pepper lunch and was hungry not too long after that. I had my cherries and some seeds, but I honestly was hungry enough to walk down to the 7-11 and get a hot dog. But hot dogs come with buns, and I wasn't sure I wanted the carbs. I looked up what we were having for dinner, and it was a tuna casserole that would have some noodles in it, so I told myself that I would have some fruit tea, and if I still needed something after that, I would reconsider the hot dog. I didn't, and that was a good trick.
I have started trying to be more grateful for my wonderful life instead of worrying about things or feeling anxious. I figure it's hard to be cheerful when you're anxious, and it's hard to feel anxious when you're grateful, so that is something I also think might help me. Who's to say stress isn't what's holding this fat to me like a magnet?
In the evening, for no reason at all, I felt very munchy--like it would be no big deal to just get a handful of candy or something. Very strange personality change there. I took a small handful of nuts to gnaw on while I made dinner.
I am glad that I am still persisting with this project.
By the time I really woke up, it was quarter to seven! I never sleep that late, and there was definitely no time for the gym, because I also had to go in to work a half hour early today for a monthly meeting. I thought about dancing for a half hour, but my husband came home from working all night just then, and he worked the night before, too, so we haven't seen each other for half a week, and we ended up talking instead. I'm glad that I am not eating so much that I feel like I HAVE to burn it off, but, still--I shouldn't miss workouts. It's a shame, too, because my weight was low enough that I would have seen some nice numbers on the scale after working out.
I felt like the jacket and skirt I was supposed to wear today, while nice, would not cover my fat stomach well enough, so I substituted the jacket for my favorite black sweater, which sort of covers everything and flatters me at the same time.
Because I didn't cook last night, I didn't have a lunch to bring. I opened a can of beans into a container and cooked half of a green pepper in some water and chopped that into it. If I'd been thinking a little bit smarter, I could have also added some onion, but I didn't think about it until the pepper was cooked, and I certainly wasn't going to put raw onion into my beans.
I had a very emotional morning at work with a lot more happening than I expected. By the time the morning was over, I was exhausted and honestly just wanted to go home. I ate my beans and pepper lunch and was hungry not too long after that. I had my cherries and some seeds, but I honestly was hungry enough to walk down to the 7-11 and get a hot dog. But hot dogs come with buns, and I wasn't sure I wanted the carbs. I looked up what we were having for dinner, and it was a tuna casserole that would have some noodles in it, so I told myself that I would have some fruit tea, and if I still needed something after that, I would reconsider the hot dog. I didn't, and that was a good trick.
I have started trying to be more grateful for my wonderful life instead of worrying about things or feeling anxious. I figure it's hard to be cheerful when you're anxious, and it's hard to feel anxious when you're grateful, so that is something I also think might help me. Who's to say stress isn't what's holding this fat to me like a magnet?
In the evening, for no reason at all, I felt very munchy--like it would be no big deal to just get a handful of candy or something. Very strange personality change there. I took a small handful of nuts to gnaw on while I made dinner.
I am glad that I am still persisting with this project.
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