New 100-Day Project

So, I know I dropped the blog.  And I'm sorry.  Some of you were reading it.

What happened was that I went out of town, and I didn't want to post about being out of town until I was back in town, because I am a little paranoid about telling people in an online forum that I am out of town.  Just in case they know where I live.  And are burglars. 

And, no, I have not been out of town this whole time.  I was out of town for four days.  It was a trip with my five younger children and my husband--a family trip.  It was really good for us as a family, and we were pretty busy.  In addition to two days of driving, four plays we were scheduled to see, and a dinner another hour away with some of my husband's family, we had an unscheduled car breakdown and a fruitless visit to a mechanic.

When we got back, there were mountains of laundry to wash and, you know, real life.  I meant to blog about those four days, very soon.  And I kept meaning to blog about them, and then, you know how it is.  The farther you get from something, the less likely it is that you will pick it up again.  Honestly, I cannot remember what I ate and did and felt during each of the past seventy-nine days, so I cannot possibly pick up the blog where I left off.

BUT.

I have started a new 100-day project, and I think it would help me to blog about it.  Whether I will get my readers back, I don't know.  I hope so.  But imagining readers really helps me to stay on course.  It did last time.  And actually knowing I had some readers helped even more.

This time, I am not doing no sugar for one hundred days.  I am actually doing what my doctor has been telling me to do for at least three years--counting calories. 

Counting calories is a pain.  No way around that.  But it is also helping me make wiser choices.  And here's what I am learning: I have been eating a lot of calories. 

Even if you are eating the right things, it is possible to eat too many calories.  Take sunflower seeds.  I eat them roasted and not salted, so it's pretty good for me.  A handful is pretty good for me.  A handful, about a tablespoon, is 59 calories.  That is a good snack to have.  The problem is when you, and when I say you, I mean I, eat three or four handfuls, or so many handfuls as you work at your computer that you have no idea how many handfuls you have eaten.  If you ended up eating a whole cup of sunflower seeds, which I cannot say I have ever done but also cannot say I have never done, that would be 944 calories. 

Nine hundred forty-four calories.

And what are the chances that those sunflower seeds are the main meal of the day?  Zilch.  So, take the meals you eat PLUS the sunflower seeds and whatever else you happen to eat that day that you are not keeping track of, and it's, well, it's a lot.  And so I think I have really earned all this fat around my middle, and my complaining about it on and on is probably making the angels plug their ears.  How can they help me if I am eating an extra 944 calories some days without even realizing it?

So, I have some things coming up.  I will be going through a religious ceremony with my husband in a few days.  That is not a big deal in the eyes of the world, but in my religious life, it is a big deal.  It is not a wedding, because we are already married, but it is a religious ceremony that is very much a wedding in the eyes of the church I belong to.  So, a few close people have been invited, and eyes will be on me.  There will be a few pictures, well, selfies.  So I want to look as nice as possible.  Pictures are forever, and they don't lie.

The holidays are coming up.  In my family, starting tomorrow.  It is very easy for me to gain weight during the holidays.  I typically gain at least seven pounds.  At.  Least.  And I had already gained back eight the day I decided to start doing this, so, adding seven to that would put me over where I was when I started my 100 no-sugar days.  I really cannot afford to go up in weight from here.  I would have nothing to wear.

So, measures must be taken. 

Do you remember the beautiful blue lace dress that I had bought as my Easter dress but could not wear as my Easter dress because I looked way too lumpy, and not lovely, in it?  Well, I am hoping that I can wear that on the day coming up.  Chances are very good that I will still look too lumpy.  That might happen.  But I'm also doing pretty well on this project, and I still have more time.  It's possible that I could look okay, and if I look okay, I will wear it, and then I will not have to wear the dress that I got married in.  Because, you know, pictures.  I don't want my future granddaughters to wonder if I only owned one dress.

I will not be buying a new dress to wear.

My doctor wants me to limit myself to 1200 calories a day.  That is not much, believe me, and, in the course of a day, calories add up fast.  I also burn up calories working out almost every day, so that helps.  I used to burn between 900-1000 calories a day, six days a week.  At least, that's what the elliptical I used to use said.  Then my gym got all new ellipticals, and they are not the same kind, and they are not as generous in how many calories they say I am burning.  And I find it hard anymore to devote 90 minutes to the elliptical on a regular basis.

For the past six days, I have been keeping my calorie count between 1200-1500, and have been burning an average of 333 calories a day at the gym.  My average net calorie intake has been 1190.  For me to lose forty pounds in 100 days, I would have to lose two pounds every five days.  I am not claiming that will happen, but I am going to count my calories and work out as much as I can, hopefully finding more time for that.  I am going to give it my best shot. 

So far, I am three pounds down. 

You know how, when you're singing, if you have to reach a really high note, it helps to be prepared mentally to aim above the note and "come down on the note" instead of stretching your neck up to slide up to the note?  Well, I feel like I am on top of this project.  I am in control.  It is not controlling me, and it is not a stretch.  It takes some time and mindfulness, but I have flexibility.  I can eat anything I want, actually, but empty calories add up fast, and I could hit my limit super early in the day if I am not careful.  On the other hand, when I eat small portions and good foods, I am finding that I can stay inside the calorie limit and get through my day just fine.  I am still having my hot cocoa at the end of the day, too.  It is working.

My first day was last Thursday.  I made a chart to show my hoped-for progress, with columns for what I hope to weigh (going along), what I actually weigh, how many calories I eat each day, and how many calories I burn each day.  Additionally, I have a little notebook that I keep with me by putting it in my lunch bag, which goes back and forth from work with me, to write down exactly what I eat each day.  There is a lot of looking up how many calories are in things, and some math, but it's easy math, and googling calories is actually pretty easy.  It's doable.  And, if it works, that will be great.

I think it will work.  And the reason I think that is not just because it's hard and the doctor told me to.  Some of my goals include getting used to eating less and shrinking my stomach a little bit so that I don't get so hungry with a normal amount of food.  I think if I stop stretching it out with too much food, that is a reachable goal. 

And I self-talk.  I tell myself I did eat--it's right there in black and white.  I ate enough, and if I wait a few minutes, the calories I ate will support my life and health.  I do not need to immediately go out and eat more.  I could drink some water, have a non-calorie fruit tea, get busy doing something else, or go for a little walk or do abs.  I do not have to sit there thinking about eating more.  No.

On Day One, this is what I ate.  I had two fried eggs with one slice of Swiss cheese cooked into them, 9 strawberries, 1 cup of prepared lentils in a bag, 7 almonds, a peach, one tablespoon of sunflower seeds, 1 slice of pizza for dinner, and a hot chocolate without cream.  And, yes, I felt hungry sometimes, but I am determined to get this fat middle off of me.  I am excited for that.  I wrote down my things, and I looked up calories, and I told myself all the right things.  I ate about 1326 calories, and I burned at least 106 calories at the gym (I was time-limited there).  I lived.  And I felt good about it.  I got to eat several times throughout the day--it wasn't like I fasted for hours on end.  Two meals and six snacks.  And everything I ate was delicious. 

I am still trying to "fast" sixteen hours between one night's dinner and the next morning's breakfast, so I try to eat dinner by six so I can eat again at ten.  It doesn't always work that way, but I am striving to do it.  That should help me, as well.  I am also trying not to miss doing my abs at night. 

And here are some things I learned.  Fruit is God's candy.  A whole big peach only added 69 calories.  Guess how many calories were in nine strawberries?  Thirty-six!  That's four calories per berry.  He knew what He was doing when he created snacks that aren't weighed down with trans fats.  I could eat enough bulky natural things to get really full and still not have eaten many calories.  So, that's part of my plan, too.  Lots of fruits and vegetables.  I am not going to say I can't eat sugar, or pizza.  But I have to count everything, so I will need to limit eating that kind of thing and have small portions.  Which I should be doing, anyway.  But when I don't keep track, it's easy to forget what I ate, and how much.

I knew going in that first night that I would only eat one slice of pizza.  I was okay with that.  At least I could eat that.  I followed it up with my cocoa, and looked forward to the next day.

When--I was already down by two pounds!  Woot!  Four days ahead of schedule already.  Of course, I know I can't lose two pounds every day.  I know it's easy to drop suddenly when you start something, but, still, it felt good.  On Day Two, I burned about 262 calories at the gym.  I ate my same eggs and cheese, five strawberries, 1 cup of prepared lentils, 11 grapes (two calories each!), and one tablespoon of peanuts. 

I had forgotten that it was someone at work's birthday, and a huge, beautiful one-layer cake was served.  My first thought was that I didn't need this to happen on my second day, but I quickly rallied.  The cake had a whipped cream type frosting and slices of dark chocolate going down in like knives on top.  I requested a very tiny piece of cake.  There was about a quarter-inch slice on one side of one of the chocolate pieces, and I said that was perfect.  I ate my little piece of cake, added 150 calories to my log, and went on with my day.  It honestly felt great.  And I know that, at times in the past, I might have been trying to snag a second piece.  There's no room for that when you're counting calories and trying not to get too high.  There's no room.  You don't want to! 

My kids were with their dad for the weekend and my husband was at work, so I didn't need to cook a full meal.  I bought two zucchinis at the store and prepared them by frying them in a little bit of butter and sprinkling Parmesan cheese on top.  A whole zucchini is only 33 calories.  A teaspoon of Parmesan cheese is 7.  A dinner like that would make up for birthday cake.  I feel really confident balancing things this way that I can keep doing this if I am careful and mindful.

I had made a salmon salad the day before, but it has to refrigerate for a few hours, so it wasn't ready to eat last night--hence the pizza.  I calculated that a fifth of it would be 500 calories, and that is what I had.  What constituted most of the calories was actually the mayonnaise in it.  The olives, cucumbers, green onion, salmon, and gelatin were nominal.  Interesting to know. 

I allowed myself a small hot cocoa, using my dinner milk, sans cream.  It only had the calories of a cup of milk (120).  Total calories eaten for the day: 1490. (Burned 262.)

The next day, after going to the gym, I had dropped another two pounds!  It was a Saturday, so I was busy, and not at work, which is not my normal day.  I had my eggs and Swiss cheese--that is my normal breakfast these days, around 9:30 so I could not be starving when I went to a 10:00 funeral.  I had one slice of leftover pizza for lunch.  I had about a half-cup of dried honeydew melon for my first snack.  (Get used to this--my husband spends most of his free time drying fruit.)  I later had 9 grapes, some more salmon salad, and some minestrone soup for supper.  I had served myself two cups of soup, and added a third cup as seconds.  When I looked at the bag for the calorie count, I regretted taking seconds.  I had a hot cocoa with cream after supper because I had burned 415 calories at the gym.  Total calories eaten: 1772.  Net calories, 1357. 

On Day Four, a Sunday, I was up three pounds.  Fluctuation happens.  Also, I did not go to the gym.  I was careful all day, eating little.  I had my eggs and cheese for breakfast, and I did allow myself one extra slice of Swiss cheese (40 calories) while I was preparing them, because it looked so good.  I had a slice of pizza for lunch (these are small slices, in case you are wondering).  I had about a cup of the dried honeydew melon, a peach, and a cup of blueberry tea (no calories!) for snacks.  I had one cup of soup for supper. 

I was going to my brother's house in the evening, and I knew there would be treats there.  I tried to save up enough calories so I could have something there.  I bought grapes to share.  Grapes are my new best friend.  During the day, though, I decided to make some pumpkin cookies with canned pumpkin, a spice cake mix I had in the cupboard, and two cups of chocolate chips.  I added 3/4 cup of whole wheat flour because the dough was too sticky.  When I added up the calories of all the ingredients I had put into them, it seemed like a lot, but when I divided it by the 35 cookies it made, it came to only 70 calories each!  And, pumpkin is a vegetable.  Score!  I had two.  I also allowed myself a small sweet roll that my brother had made, and twenty grapes.  After coming home from his house in the evening, I totally forgot to have a hot cocoa, which is fine.  Total calories: 1313.

Day Five.  I was down two pounds again, so three net total.  This is honestly doing just fine.  Someone had brought jalapeno cheese bagels to work--a whole stack of them.  I don't normally like jalapeno peppers, but the bagels looked really good sitting there.  I looked up the calories for it as I ate one.  I also brought two pumpkin cookies with me to work, a half cup of dried melon, and 18 grapes for snacks.  I also had my eggs, and one tablespoon of sunflower seeds as another snack.  I didn't eat the lentils I had brought, because the bagel filled me up, and I let that be enough.  When I got home, I wasn't really hungry.  This project is filling my mind with hope and I am feeling really strong.  My husband wasn't home, so all I ate was one more pumpkin cookie and my hot cocoa, with cream.  Total calories eaten, 1321.  I burned about two hundred calories at the gym in the morning, but I decided to go back and walk in the pool, which I did for forty-five minutes.  Total calories burned: 646.  Net calories for the day, 675.  Unbelievable. 

Day Six.  It was a little bit harder today.  I did not have much time at the gym, and burned only about 202 calories.  I was supposed to wait until eleven to eat, but I was really hungry.  I didn't eat much yesterday compared to how much I exercised, so I gave in at 9:30 and ate my eggs.  I followed that up with my dried melon and two pumpkin cookies.  Later on, I had 1 tablespoon roasted unsalted peanuts, 18 raspberries, and 13 grapes.  I was hungry after running an errand at lunch and had the bag of prepared lentils I had not eaten yesterday.  Then I added up what I had eaten and realized I should stop.  If I want to eat dinner tonight, which I have to make for my family, I had better stop. 

I was supposed to make carrot soup, which is perfect for low calories, but tomorrow is my birthday, and I believe two cakes will be given to me, and I will have to have small pieces of each, so I decided to make the carrot soup tomorrow to help balance all of that out.  Tonight's dinner, which was on the schedule for tomorrow, is a casserole with ground beef and sausage, olives, corn, tomatoes, and cheesy cornbread on top.  I added up the calories for that, and it is a lot.  I divided it by twelve, and it comes to 367.  I can have one-twelfth of that casserole tonight, and a small hot cocoa without cream, which will take me to 1377 calories.

I took a fifteen-minute walk around my building with my iPod to burn a few more calories.  I really, really want to be able to wear that dress for my special occasion, but when I look in the mirror, I am still really round in the middle.

Part of the reason I gained this weight is because I am short, and all the mirrors at my house only show me down to my shoulders to myself.  I have not been getting proper feedback on my growing girth, but I am determined to reverse it.