One Hundred Days with No Sugar

Sure enough, my little boy said to me first thing this morning, "Happy day forty-two."  He's keeping track. Yesterday at my training, the trainers had put some nasty hard an sour candy on the table for us to snack on.  Someone offered me some, and I declined.  It came out that I was off sugar, and every single one of them asked, "What are you doing to compensate?"  Uh. . . . . . . When we came back from lunch, one of my friends had gotten himself a three-foot tall drink of pink stuff.  He seemed to be eating something like donuts out of a bag, too.  "You need to get me off this stuff," he joked. So I told him my secret: get so fat you can't stand yourself and will do anything to reverse it. It seems like everyone else can eat sugar with no ill effects.  I know that's not true.  That's just how it seems when I am being deprived.  Sugar is hard to not eat.  People admire me and think I'm crazy.  I'm not doing this for either o...

I only got to do eighteen minutes on the elliptical this morning, and no abs nor weight-lifting.  And I felt mad all day.  I did make the best use of the time I could, and burned 150 calories in that time, and traveled 1.4 miles. The main reason I was so short on time is that I had to get to work early to attend a full-day training.  I also needed to have one of my vehicles inspected, so I grabbed the card and took that vehicle to work.  I ate during my break--leftover meatloaf, baked potato, and broccoli, then ran the errand on my lunch.  All went well, and I was feeling pretty virtuous and smart. And then I saw it--someone had brought out those big lacey cookies and a whole bag of little chocolate-covered cookies.  Because I had eaten early, I was really hungry.  I don't know that I have ever been so tempted.  All the excuses flooded my mind--that it is pointless to be doing this, that it isn't doing any good, anyway.  I went into the t...

I fell asleep last night before I completed my abs.  I'd actually only done two of the nine sets.  So, when I woke in the night, I made myself finish. But then I stayed awake for a while, and was so sleepy in the morning that I did not make it to the gym.  I determined to just not eat much to make up for not having burned any calories.  That went okay, except that I did eat my eggs, my lunch, my small nut and seed snacks.  I tried to only have one such snack, but I was starving all day.  I did have my apple, and a blueberry tea.  I also had an avocado.  I had a modest dinner of a small amount of homemade meatloaf, a small baked potato, and broccoli. I just don't know. I did get one tender mercy today.  That family reunion that I've been worried about not getting dessert at, in a most silly manner?  That has been postponed a week, and it will now fall after this project is completed.  No more worrying about that. Sixty more...

All day long, I've thought it was day forty. And I've wanted to quit. Even though I only had a half hour for it, I went to the pool.  Walking in the pool for a half hour is good, refreshing exercise.  It invigorates me, and that is all I wish it took. As soon as I ate my spaghetti lunch, which was ample, I started feeling bad.  I was a bit too full, and that brought on all my self-flagellating thoughts.  The thing is, I really haven't accomplished anything.  My weight this morning was the same as it's been lots of times in the past two years.  I've given up so many yummy desserts and fully participating in so many events, for what?  To accomplish nothing?   I realized that it's been forty years since I started running in place at home, thinking my thighs were fat, et cetera.  Forty years of effort to stem back the tide of obesity.  What kind of a life is that for a woman?  Do all fit women fight this fight?  A...

I am not going to lie.  It was hard watching everyone else in the family consume their Memorial Day shakes from Iceberg, which is a family tradition.  I was served my glass of water early, and I sympathized with them that I knew they were all jealous of it.   I was prepared for this.  It was one of the things I thought of that day-before-Easter morning when I made my no-sugar vow.  But it's one thing to decline birthday cake at work and duck into one's cube.  It's another to watch everyone you love most eating peach, or lime, or lemon shakes right in front of you for a half hour on a holiday. I still have two kids' birthdays, the July holidays, and my cousins' party to go, where I know dessert will be served and I will not get any.  Honestly, I have been concerned about declining dessert at the cousins' party, which will be about day 98 or 99, almost more than anything, all along.  Isn't that silly? If I can do this on Easter Day, I can...

Today went fine.  Had fried eggs and fruity oatmeal for brunch, and beef teriyaki for dinner.  I put stevia into the beef teriyaki instead of sugar, and, of course, used brown rice.   I made "chocolate mousse" from the sugar-free desserts cookbook.  It called for three drops of liquid stevia, which I bought at a nature food store yesterday.  I tasted it and it was still very bitter, so I added three more drops.  That didn't seem to improve it at all, so I ended up adding probably ten or fifteen or twenty drops.  It was still bitter. The confectioner's Swerve I'd used in the frosting yesterday had made it too sweet, so I added first one teaspoon, then another, of that.  It was still bitter.  I don't get it.  It had a good consistency, but tasted bitter.  I whipped some sweet cream to top it with to help cut the bitterness, but my children still wouldn't eat it.  I had initially followed the directions exactly, so there ...

The cake was great.  Well, because of the whole wheat flour in it, I think, it was a little dry.  I'll double the water next time.  And the frosting was too sweet, which was a surprise.  But with a few tweaks, I'll have a cake that my husband, a diabetic, and I can eat. I felt tired when I got up today, but I do feel better, as in, not bloated, not guilty, not fatter.  I went to the pool and walked ninety minutes.  At first, I was alone, which I love.  Ten minutes later, though, a woman came and swam in the far lane.  A swimmer in the far lane, I don't mind at all.  A couple of guys with caps, sweat pants, and huge hoodies way too big for them came through, going from the sauna to the gym and back and such, and the one in the gray (as opposed to the black) let the drinking fountain on hard, splashing onto the floor.  I was down in the pool, so I didn't think I could do anything about it.  I DID think that maybe one of the three ...

I need to get in the habit of going to the gym when I wake up past midnight, or, let's say, two.  I woke up at four something this morning, but I didn't feel quite ready, and I went back to bed.  Didn't sleep, though, and ended up with an hour to do the elliptical.  I know, I know.  It's time for the pool again.  Probably tomorrow. I burned over 500 calories on the elliptical, and went almost five miles, according to the machine.  How one goes miles on an elliptical is beyond me.  I can see it on a bike or treadmill, but I digress. I am feeling better, since I didn't overeat in any way yesterday, and, though I've been avoiding the scale the last couple of days, I got on.  I'm at the --2, which is not bad.  That's better than I expected it to be.  That's eight pounds, and, even if I only lost 24 pounds during this project, that would be okay.  I just hope I can keep making it go down. Packing my lunch, I was careful to not brin...

My husband was in pain much of the night, probably due to the bananas and breadsticks he had eaten, but I still managed to get a decent night's sleep.  He offered to go out onto the couch, but I felt that would make him even more uncomfortable.  Since he was the one with the problem, he wouldn't hear of me going out to the couch.   So we got through the night, but I didn't wake up as early as I like to.  Besides my husband's having been in pain, I had gotten to bed late.  Not because I had wanted to, but because one child had to work until eleven, one child cannot hear the words, "Go to bed," and one child escaped before I could see him at age eighteen one last time. So I was up and fine, though a bit short on time.  And I forgot to take my iPod to the gym.  I used to work out without it, and didn't realize what I was missing until my oldest son gave me one for my birthday.  Now I don't like to exercise without it and can't believe I used...

I did pretty well today, but I still went to bed too full.  Let me explain. There were still treats left over from yesterday's staff meeting--muffins and probably some fruit.  I didn't have anything.  I ate only what I had brought, and did not even eat my apple.  But I had to do a couple of mandatory trainings on the computer, and I cannot stand to go through those again--they are always the same ones--without at least munching something, so my "one handful of seeds" rule went out the window.  I did try to munch them sparingly and slowly, but I was not exactly starving when I got home from work. I then had the last sugar-free brownie from Sunday. My husband wanted to take me out to dinner.  We talked about whether it was more for our six-month anniversary or more for my thirty years of employment, and we agreed to take what kids were at home with us.  He wanted to try a different restaurant than the one I always want to go to, so there was some d...

Folks, I overate today.   I didn't gorge myself, and I didn't eat sugar, though. I went to bed super early last night, hoping to get plenty of sleep and plenty of exercise--maybe two workouts--by morning.  I was awakened by a text from a son needing a ride home from work.  I was too sleepy, and medicated, so he got one from his dad, but I kept expecting him to walk in at some point, and that expectation kept me awake even though I told myself to sleep. I ended up being awake until 3:30.  I did everything.  I got up and straightened my bedroom some.  I read newspapers.  I did Sudokus.  I took a half-dose of a sleeping pill.  I finally broke down and had a glass of milk and one more small sugar-free brownie, though I didn't want to eat in the night and usually do not, because, after fasting all day and then having just one small meal, my stomach was howling at me. So, my best-laid plans were foiled.  I did not get enough sleep...

Today was hard for different reasons. For some reason, those three small eggy "brownies" really filled me up.  I didn't feel like making dinner, but I don't live alone, by any means, so I did.  I did not have a huge serving of lasagna, but it really filled me up.  And I'd left the cream cheese out to be room temperature for more brownies, so I went ahead and threw them together just before bedtime.  I felt like I should have at least one small one, to see if they were any better. I felt so full all night that I couldn't sleep.  I got maybe two hours, and then was literally up in the night.  The full feeling never went away.  At three-thirty, I finally took another half-dose of sleeping pill, and then, of course, I couldn't get up to go to the gym. I was rushed getting out of the house, anyway, so I decided to fast for a family member today instead of tomorrow, which I had considered doing. Even though I still felt full for at least half the mor...

I made the "Fudgy Brownies" from my new sugar-free cookbook today.  I was excited.  I mean, if there's anything I could really wrap my mind around, it would be no-guilt brownies.  My daughter was the first one to try one, as I allowed her to take one on her way to work. "Are they good?" I asked.  She was polite, but noticed her sour face. So, these "brownies" were mostly eggs, butter, cream cheese, and cocoa, with a few other ingredients, such as baking powder, and salt, and only two tablespoons of sweetener.  They were basically baked chocolate eggs.  Edible, barely, but definitely not brownies.  "Why is there no flour in these?" I wondered, too late. So I scraped the rest of them out of the pan and made some more, with flour.  And I doubled the monk fruit sweetener.  They are in the oven now.  We'll see. I went to a court of honor that had, I think, cupcakes for refreshments, but I had to leave to pick my daughter up from work,...

Yes!  Finally!  I weighed --2 again.  With a good squint, --1.   I did 72 minutes on the elliptical, burning 607 calories, and 5.42 miles, according to the machine.   I had two eggs for breakfast, leftover fish and chips for lunch, homemade split pea soup for dinner.  I snacked on a handful of almonds.   I bought twice as many raspberries as usual--I've got my daughter eating them, now.  And strawberries.  And cherries!  They finally had cherries.  By the time I finished all the shopping, though, I'd forgotten about them and just made dinner.  But I'll have them this week. Thinking about my son's upcoming birthday, I looked through my new no-sugar dessert cookbook today for cakes I could make.  The angel food looked very doable.  I can't use almond flour, though, so I bought some cake flour.  It looks like I should double the recipe to get more than one layer, and it already calls for a doz...

I honestly thought I was going to be starting this post with, "Yes! Finally!" My pre-weight was low enough that I really thought my post-workout weight would be announceable.  That made me tempted to go back to the elliptical for the fourth time in a row, because it is guaranteed to make me sweat some weight out, but I went to the pool, because it's been a long time since I worked out in there, and just trying to beat my weight every day without giving my body a variety of workouts is silly.   i wanted to have an hour, but I did get fifty-one minutes.  When I walked into the swimming pool area, I did again think, "Yes!"  No one was in the pool--my favorite.  And the water felt good.  I remembered again how much I enjoy the gentle, non-sweaty workouts of the pool.  I pushed myself, though.  I wanted to complete forty laps, and I did. Miraculously, no one got in with me.  No one.  A man's shoes and gym bag were under the towel r...

I am not amused. If I wanted to stay this fat, I could be eating sugar. Every day this week, I have sweet-talked myself through the weighing, telling myself that I wasn't quite finished going to the bathroom, and that wasn't my real weight.  Possible.  But, every day? I'm still at the --3 and --4, which is up from the --1 I once achieved.  I haven't even lost ten pounds yet.  I mean, seriously? I am still not eating sugar.  I had to avoid some fun-sized candy bars today.  No big deal, although I remember trying to sneak some of them into my bag at last year's benefits fair.   I am still doing my abs every night and not even just summarizing them.  Even though I had to do them on the couch tonight because my husband was already sound asleep in the middle of the bed.  It was really hard to do them on the couch, for some reason, and I had to try to hold my nightgown up so that not too much of my legs would show, as my son was in t...

I only had time for thirty minutes on the elliptical.  I worked as hard as I could, but it just doesn't do as much as longer workouts.  Still, some is better than none. I have not lost as much weight as I wish I had.  Still, if I quadruple what I have done so far, that would be a good amount to have off of me. A coworker came back from vacation today, and was handing out chocolates.  I declined, and she pressed me.  These were very good chocolates--I saw the bag, but I didn't even look at them.  She urged me to save them for later.  I told her I still had seventy-five days left, and that was too long to save them for.  (I already have plenty of other things saved, anyway.) Another coworker brought in an angel food cake--just for fun, I guess--and strawberries.  I was not offered anything.  My reputation precedes me, I guess. I was so hungry after my lunch that I did stop and get another container of leftovers when I swung by home...

As I weight-lifted this morning, I noticed that I am weaker than I used to be.  I was trembling as I finished up.  I did as many reps as I usually used to, but I had lessened the weight in most cases.  I've been doing all the abs I am supposed to do, too, and squats while waiting for the microwave, and taking the stairs all the time.  I can feel my muscles starting to come back. I did sixty-four minutes on the elliptical, gradually increasing the resistance, and doing some intervals where I went as fast as I could for a minute.   I snacked on tomato juice, nuts, and seeds.  I had plenty to eat, none of it with sugar.  I made myself do my nighttime abs again.  I'm not saying it's easy, but that's my commitment.

My husband and I were up talking so late that I did not get up in time to work out.  I had no idea it was so late--he is fun to talk to.  I thought I would dance and do abs for a half hour, but I processed a dream I had just had with him and used up that time.  I am still off sugar, but I am feeling a little bit discouraged.  I haven't been losing more weight.  If I wanted to just stay the same weight, I could go ahead and eat sugar, right?  Sacrificing that for--nothing--just doesn't sit well with me. I made sure I took the stairs every time I went upstairs at work today.  I also took a walk on my break, walking about five blocks. I thought that, since I wouldn't have my kids this evening, I would go to the gym.  I was going to see if my husband would go with me.  But he was so exhausted from cleaning out the entire side yard and making it look better than it has in years, that he couldn't .  We ran some errands--store, ban...

I did not get to weigh myself today, although I was curious about my weight, because I was brought breakfast in bed. My husband made me eggs and bacon, and also oatmeal with fruit in it.   I was excited to try some of the sugarless desserts in my new Keto cookbook that came in the mail this week.  Yesterday, one of the many stores we had to stop at was a health-food store way downtown so I could buy some coconut flour and arrowroot.  I had already picked up golden monk fruit sweetener and Swerve during a prior shopping trip, but had not known how to use them.  The only problem with these items is that they come in tiny bags, and cost a lot.  My first recipe used up almost all the monk fruit sweetener I had bought.  It had directed me to mix a couple of tablespoons of it with cinnamon, and the snickerdoodles only used about half of that, so I had a bunch left over that seemed it would go to waste, while another recipe also called for monk fruit, and I...

Today was super busy.  Saturdays are always busy, but there were a couple of extra things going on today that made it even busier. I had been asked to play the organ at a funeral, and had stayed up very late, talking with my husband about a project we are doing, so I only had time to do abs and thirty minutes of the elliptical at the gym this morning.  I made those thirty minutes count, upping the resistance faster than I normally would, but it was still only thirty minutes, and I burned just under one-tenth of a pound, according to the machine I was on. I also felt discouraged today.  I am not losing weight as fast as I want to.  I was hungry a lot today, but I didn't feel like I could eat much.  I snacked on leftover vegetables, an apple, and a handful of almonds.  I made Spanish rice for dinner, and reminded myself as I neared the end of my smallish portion that that was it--no seconds. I wanted and intended to go back to the gym--and even got my h...

I am now one-fifth of the way through this project.   I was awake for a while in the night with a child who has come down with pneumonia.  I was honestly frightened for him--he didn't seem to be himself at all--and wondered if I should run him to the hospital, so I was unable to get up early and get as much exercise as I had wanted to.  At the gym, I did some abs and some weight-lifting, and only forty minutes on the elliptical. My weight showed I have, so far, lost seven pounds.  Seven times five--if I keep up at the same rate--would get me within ten pounds of my goal.  One day, I was down nine pounds.  If I count that, and stay at that rate, I would more than finish my course.  So, I am doing all right. Lessons learned, and things to improve: I could eat less flour.  I could get more exercise.  I don't think I have been in the pool at all this week.  I missed two days of going to the gym at all, and all of my workouts were ...

I am in the groove now, of being used to not eating sugar.  If I don't see it, I don't think about it.  Usually.   I brought some leftover spinach salad and a little leftover mac and cheese and green beans to work for my lunch.  I had forgotten that I was supposed to go to a luncheon today.  (I wasn't really dressed up for it, either.  My best friend said that if I was dressed for work, I was dressed for the luncheon.  There were pictures taken, though, but I managed to get on the back row for the first time in my life!  Yay!  Everyone always forces me to stand in the front, even when I protest.  So, small personal victory there.) Normally, I would be excited about this luncheon.  I went one other time in the past.  Hey, anyone serving me food I didn't have to prepare or purchase myself has my appreciation.  Also, I like to see what it will be and try new things.  Well, today, I didn't end up eating much....

I woke up in time to only do 44 minutes on the elliptical.  My visions of an ironman workout dispelled, but that was definitely better than nothing, and my scale is back to the 3, which is half of the upward fluctuation I was concerned about yesterday.  I want to thank everyone who made positive comments to me about my project and about my blog.  I appreciate it very much.  I am a pretty private person, but I think a little support will go a long way for me on this. I opened myself up, I guess, for whatever comments may come my way, but, if you want to be supportive, let me tell you a little bit about what I don't need.  I don't need weight loss advice. As I explained, I already read everything on the subject, and I have decades of experience making this body more fit.  I know what I need to do, I just need to seriously do it.  Number two--I am under no delusions that I am going to lose all the weight I want to lose in the 100-day timefram...

My plan to go to bed early last night and wake up early and ready for a tremendous workout did not work out.  The rest of the world did not get the memo and go to bed with me, so there were some interruptions. I didn't sleep well.  My husband didn't sleep well.  He was in pain and eventually went out onto the couch in the hopes that I would be able to sleep.  I finally took another half sleeping pill around 3:00 a.m., and did not wake up in time to go to the gym.  So, now I am three days without working out, and my weight has crept back up to the 6.  I am discouraged and disappointed in myself. I did do one thing in the night that did help me.  I blogged and then got brave and turned to Facebook to get some readers for my blog.  I had hoped that readers would magically appear, but that was unrealistic.  I mean, maybe they will, but we have to start somewhere.  So when I woke this morning, I had had some readers, and I had some l...

I realized this morning that today would also be a hard day, because it was the birthday of another coworker, and there would be cake.  There would also be staff meeting treats.  I packed some of the sugar-free cherry pie filling to help me cope.  I also included several small items--some lentil soup, a salmon patty, some roasted potatoes, an apple--to help me eat correctly throughout the day. Well, things did not turn out exactly as expected.  The birthday girl had called in sick, so there was no cake.  (Maybe tomorrow?  Yikes!)  The person who brought treats brought blueberry muffins, many samosas, three kinds of juice, bananas and cuties, and two kinds of rolls with a seasoned meat.  I did not actually fail this test.  I did not have any of the muffins, juice, rolls, or meat.  I had a banana and a cutie, and, over time, four samosas.  I should have left it at one or maybe two, but I kept going back for more throughout the day....